Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Face Value

So yesterday I headed out to conduct interviews for my monthly newspaper assignment, which, as an aside, never fails to be a calendar highlight. However, the interview in question was notable not because of what happened, but rather, what didn’t. As soon as I rounded the corner and turned off my street, my car lost all power, forcing me to muscle it around the next corner and leave it at the curb of my neighboring street. For those interested in quantitative measures, I was less than a football field away from my front yard.

Of course, my husband wanted a full break down of the, well, break down, which required me to pop the hood and give a play-by-play of what I saw, which happened to be a dangling belt. Being a guy, he wanted as many details about the engine as you or I would about the features of a quality latte or the coupons in the latest Michael’s flyer.

“Can we wrap this up,” I said through gritted teeth. “There’s this creeper watching me. He’s standing by some rose bushes watching me like it’s some kind of show.”

Casting a withering glance in the direction of the gawker, I closed the hood and headed home to reschedule my interview. Even though my kids thought I now had a bonus day off, I actually had to get to the university to teach my freshmen. My daughter was able to take me, and, on the way out, we stopped at the disabled van so I could pick up my books.

“Oh my goodness! I don’t believe it! He’s still there, creeping by the rosebushes. He hasn’t even mov…ed,” I said, my voice trailing off as I got a closer look, and discovered the, um, non-threatening nature of this stalker.

Yep, that’s right. Zoom in, if you can, on this low quality, mobile phone image so you can get the full effect. The whiskers are a dead giveaway. This guy’s a pussy cat.

I’d like to say the story just ends with a little chuckle right here. But that evening, after enduring my son and husband’s the good natured razzing as they tinkered unsuccessfully with the belt, we headed out to get some pizza, deciding at the last moment to go to an old mom and pop that we haven’t been to in a few years, as long as “they weren’t too busy.” Pulling into the shopping center, I groaned in hungry disappointment. “Oh, they’re packed!” I lamented. “Look at all those people just waiting to be seated!”

A hush fell over the vehicle before one of the boys said “Really? Not again!”
I took a second look and saw that all those hungry men waiting for pizza were really just mannequins patiently modeling men’s suits in the shop next door. I am not sure if it is more embarrassing than it is hilarious, but it’s true, nonetheless—I was bested by dummies twice in one day.

Despite the rocky start, we’re set for a big week here at RWL. Tomorrow I will be participating in the Pinnacle Moment Series over at Jade’s place, and be on the lookout for news of an upcoming giveaway!


Anonymous said...

Umm, do we need to get your eyes checked......

Anonymous said...

When I worked at Old Navy I was constantly being fooled by those mannequins, so I can definitely relate.


Cynthia@RunningWithLetters said...

Anon--would you believe I just had my eyes examined last week?

T--so glad another bright individual has had similar problems--comforting.

J. Kwiatkowski-Schuler said...

That's too funny! Once when I had a red bucket on a stool in the kitchen and it was just the same height as my youngest son, who has to wear a red shirt for his school uniform. I kept thinking the bucket was him when I would catch it out of the corner of my eye, even after I'd already taken him to school.

blueviolet said...

Oh my gosh, your level of awareness is nearly non-existent. Too funny!

Holly Lefevre said...

Those people hanging in trees and lurking about during the holidays scare the heck out of I am with ya there! Headless ones at the mall don't (at least not during the day!)


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