Disqualfied

“It’ll be the first day I’ve had all to myself in at least two years,” I enthused. “Really. At least two years.” Just before bed last night I realized that with my son at a sleepover and my daughter working all day at her new job as a baker, I’d have the house to myself, and no commitments.

“I’ve got a project if you need something to do,” my husband replied nervously.

“A project? Who says I need a project? I’ve got all kinds of things to do. I’ve got some blogging, and some gardening. When I get hungry, I’ve even got a free sandwich,” I said waving aloft a coupon I’d received in a mass distribution at Vacation Bible School earlier in the evening. “It’ll be great!”

Straight out of the box, however, the day took an immediate southward turn when I opened my contact case and discovered that half of them had vanished overnight. I haven’t been to the optometrist in over two years—ironically near the time of my last free day, optometry records would later show. I figure they’ve got the lenses programmed to dissolve when you’ve been AWOL too long from regular eye care, because we’ve got nothing on the whereabouts of the stray lens.

I couldn’t get an appointment soon enough to avoid the headache that always accompanies the wearing of my glasses. From the headache, my mood dissolved into despair over what would later prove to be some unfounded worries I developed over the General State of Things. It was way too hot for gardening. I kicked around on facebook, posting cryptic and decidedly grim comments until I decided it was Free Sandwich time. My spirits could not withstand the disappointing news I received via text message enroute that a planned trip to see some local stray kittens had to be canceled due to the uncertain whereabouts of said kittens. The traffic surrounding the Free Sandwich was practically impenetrable. I took the Sandwich to go, and went right back home to surveyed my sorry state.


My daughter soon came home, took one look at me and gasped, “Oh, no, you’ve been alone all day!”

“It’s that obvious? “

Evidently, my family knows me pretty well, and the consensus is that I "don’t do well” when I’m left alone to my own resources for too long, say, for more than six hours.

Ironically, I was recently recruited as a possible candidate for an online instructor position, and invited to participate in an online conference about the position this afternoon. Although my resume may indicate that I’m a good candidate, but my family doesn’t seem to think I’m qualified.